The Anxious Caveman Still Exists

For those that know me or followed me from my previous blog, you know that ANZAC Day is a really big day for me. Not only because of my career and family background, but because ANZAC Day 2008 was the first time I had a panic attack. What an attack it was too. So on this day I have a lot of emotions going through my body and mind. Yesterday was no different. What set me off in 2008 was the simulated gun fire off in the distance. Being in the dark, cold and seeing shadows and smoke was not something that I anticipated and it quickly went down hill from there. Thankfully there has not been a repeat of this type of display since but. What does get the better of me now and whenever I hear it is The Last Post. It just makes my stomach sink. In the past I loved hearing it, and part of me still does because of what it means, but now in the darkness of the morning it turns me into a face stroking, can't stand still mess. The good thing is that I recovered from it quickly, in the past it would rock me for the day.

I am definitely getting better though and by putting myself through these "tests" it validates everything I have done and am doing to treat myself without drugs. 

It is also through the tremendous support of my family. I am never alone during these times and knowing that gives me the strength to keep going.

So for those that thought The Anxious Caveman was no more, he is still here. He is just under control and allowing The SUP'ing Caveman to do his thing.

Exciting things are coming, paddle happy.